The Unpretty Side of Parenting

This post is mainly for me. But I thought I would share because I think we all may have these moments from time to time. Becoming a mom has been the biggest blessing I could ever be given. I love my kiddos, I love the ways in which they teach me new things, I love that I get court side seats to see every new discovery- the first steps, the first words, everything. I get to witness it all. I also am very blessed that I get to be a stay at home mom. I am very thankful to have these early years with my kids. But you know, I sometimes miss being able to "leave work" after 5pm. It seems lately I have become a jungle gym- I am crawled on, scrunched, pulled, and tugged. Today, unfortunately I had enough and I have to admit I lost it.

I think it's okay to say that. Mason was continually testing his boundaries and in the words of C. Dortch, "tonight, we had a come to Jesus meeting." And afterward, the guilt sunk in. You all know the guilt- the dready mommy guilt. For some reason women feel like we have to be perfect. As mothers, we try to keep everything in order, know everything, plan everything, take care of every little detail and when we fall short of our expectations, we beat ourselves up. And I started to do that tonight, but then I began to think.

I'm not perfect. I am and will forever be an imperfect being. And I am okay with that, because all I can give is my all. And some days my all may be better than others. And today was one of those days. I know that without a doubt my kids know I love them and if I can teach them that it's okay to have an off day, then they will be better beings for it as well.

So I let go of the guilt. And I moved on. just like Mason did. Tonight, when I laid him down to go to bed, he asked me to "snunnle him" (his word for snuggle) and after I put my arm around him, he threw his around me and said "I love you, mommy." Totally unprompted. So I guess when you let go of your own feelings of inadequacy, you find the pretty side of the unpretty side of parenting.

I can't leave you without pictures of my sweet loves.